I really think you should listen to your friends and family. If this guy at this age is unwilling to work or do anything to help out, what do you think it will be like as he gets older? How much do you think he's going to help you with kids? At what point do you think he'll start planning for the future? Cut your losses and look for somebody who wants a partner rather than a sponsor. You deserve better!
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I think I know why you don't want to leave him (or him to leave you), it's because you have some sort of co-dependency issue and probably low self-esteem. You know why I said that? I was in a 4 1/2 years relationship with my ex-fiancee who treated me the same way (or maybe worse--he threatened the "talk" way too often on me too--believe it or not, it's a bluff on his part, it may as well be a bluff by your bf too). All of my family and friends told me to leave but I tried to hold on.

The reason it lasted too long it's because I was so afraid of breaking up with him, I had body image issue, I had so many insecurities, I was afraid I wouldn't find another man who'd love me, plus my ex-fiancee often said that I was "paranoid" or "psychotic." And soon after I dumped him, I realized I was maybe a little paranoid, but I'm definitely not psychotic In fact, I'm pretty damn good person! I treated everyone nicely and I did everything I could to someone who's not being so nice (my ex) so that he could have a second education and a good daily life.

I was working overtime so I could afford to send him AGAIN to college (to get his second bachelor--he graduated summa cum laude with his first bachelor and would have no trouble finding a job, except that he's too picky and LAZY and totally too comfortable with me supporting him) and to pay for both our grocery/rent/etc.
P.S. I was also in my mid-20s when I broke it off with him.

You deserve to have someone who's your equal (or even more) financially, and be able to provide (although he doesn't have to--since you're working).
You deserve the best. You're a good, kind-hearted person and he's damn lucky to have you.

My suggestion is either give him an ultimatum (a deadline) and see how things go, and make sure that you follow through with the ultimatum, or immediately have THAT TALK where you tell him you're UNHAPPY. Because you ARE unhappy to the point, you need to post here and ask our opinion and perhaps get some support online.

In my case, the evil unknown is always better than the evil you know. I know it's going to be hard to get out of your comfort zone. I know you'll meet other men, yes, dating will be a pain in the beginning, but when you get into your groove, you'll meet someone who's deserving of you and will want to care for you sincerely (although you really know how to take care of yourself).

Oh ya, I'm married, with a son, and yes, my husband is currently the sole provider (I'm working freelance, and in NO WAY my income will feed every one of us), and my husband actually wants to work for the family. (If you're thinking marriage and children: You definitely will have to take time off after pregnancy, so your current bf isn't cutting it. Honestly).

Ok hon The only way I can help you is telling my story. I meet this great guy. He was fun,funny, cute, treated me like a angel, and he could be sweet. He worked at first, but something always happened at his job... ie he hurt his hand and couldn't work or he hurt his back. I stood by him I worked two jobs and paid for everything while he was out of work "hurt". Well, then I noticed after the doctor said he could go back to work he just didn't. He always said he was looking for a job. I found out I was pregnant and we got married. So I figured I would at least quit one job and he would pick up the slack. Once again he was always looking for a job. He would get dressed and go out looking for a job(god knows where he really went)but there was never an opening. I had our son he still wasn't working we ended up on a welfare check. Nights he would cry because he said he felt useless (my best guess a way to make me feel sorry for him). My parents and friends hated him. I was half feeling sorry for him and half trying to make it work for our little family. I went back to working two jobs and I ended up having to get a babysitter because he couldn't watch our son .. since he was to busy trying to get a job. The welfare offered him job training at the local tech school. They were going to pay for it and even send a bus to pick him up and drop him off ... since he pointed out I had the car at work all the time. After he refused such a good offer I couldn't look at him in the same way. I couldn't feel sorry for him anymore. I kicked him out and filed for divorce (best thing I ever did) 9 years later my son and I are still struggling a little but I'm in college and working on buying our first home. My ex-hubby ... well, he is still jobless and is a deadbeat dad. Now he says he can't get a job because the police are after him for child support. He is now living behind his uncle's house in a RV with an extension cord running from the house to the RV for electric. The worse thing he tells my son that it is my fault we aren't together and he can't get a job because the police will throw him in jail for child support. Now I have to try to explain to my 10 year old that it is not his fault his dad can't get a job, and that my ex and I will never get back together. So you may want to think twice about this situation. I honestly think any man that isn't willing to pull his own weight in some way or another isn't a man at all. That is my story I hope it helps you. Don't let anyone play on your emotions. If you are anything like me you have a big heart and he knows how to play it.

Thank you for all of the feedback. I know what you're saying is right, it's just going to take me some time to get there. I know I would/will feel horrible when the break up actually happens but anything has to feel better than this constant pit in my stomach and all of this stress.